Thursday, July 25, 2013

fear v. freedom

This is embarrassing.  Here I go starting a brand new blog and then I fail to post an entry for 2 weeks.  But I have a good story, I promise.

I started out this blog with an entry on freedom.  But about 2 weeks ago I discovered something new about freedom.  Sometimes other people's earthly freedoms try to trump our spiritual freedoms.  And earthly freedoms are a whole lot more tangible than the spiritual ones, so they tend to instill a greater degree of immediate fear into our hearts.

It's sad to me how quickly I become consumed by fear.  Fear of others, fear of the future, fear of the unknown, fear of mistakes, fear of the world itself, even.  It begins to control me.  It restricts me.  It corners me.  It makes me second guess myself.  It contorts me into a permanent position of peering over my shoulder in fearful anticipation.  It causes me to avoid what I love.  It binds me.  It silences me.

Fear is not of God.  Fear is a weapon of the enemy.  There are those who manipulate people through fear.  I used to be one of the manipulated.  Fear paralyzed me.  First it was fear of others.  Then it became fear of my own mind.  But Jesus changed everything.

"For God gave us not a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." -2 Timothy 1:7

Jesus came to set the captives free.  And boy was I a captive.  I believe that the greater your past captivity, the more aware you are of your present freedom.  The greater your treasure it.  The more closely you guard it.  But we can quickly find ourselves in a trap.  Sometimes we protect our newfound freedom with such vigor that we find ourselves enslaved yet again.  We fear loosing it.

This is where I found myself 2 weeks ago.  I was so determined not to loose my freedom that I feared anything that might jeopardize it.  I instantly forgot that the freedom I have is not earthly and it cannot be stolen from me.  I can not forfeit it through any error in word or deed on the internet, at the workplace, or in my home.

I refuse to let the fear of other people's earthly freedoms consume the freedom that Jesus died for me to have.  My passion cannot be contained.  My story cannot be smothered.  My life is brilliant and it radiates a hope that transcends the darkness that seems to plague the planet.

I've weighed the options.  The time I have not spent blogging, I've spent researching.  Searching for a way around things.  Searching for some sort of an answer to this "problem."  And I got it.  Loud and clear.

I think the world gets one thing right.  We're often told to do what we love.  Well I love people.  And I love writing.  And I love my life.  And I love Jesus.  So I will write about what Jesus does in my life so that He can touch people through me.  And I won't let fear of freedom drown out hope in the process.

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